It took great courage to walk into my first A.A. meeting. I was full of fear, inhibited, and the last binge was still fresh in my mind. I did not know what to expect. I was late for the meeting and walked in with a prayer on my lips. I still could not believe that I was in an AA classroom.
I sat on the last bench and put my head down so that I could not be seen. Fortunately or unfortunately [fortunately sure, I can say, today] the chairman spotted me and I was called to share. As I poured my heart out, I felt lighter and relieved. My shirt was wet with sweat and I was shivering. The chairman said to me, “We will pray for you.” I just smiled at that point, as I did not believe what was happening.
After the meeting, as I was about to leave, two guys walked up to me, put an arm around my shoulder and asked, “How did you come?” “Train“, I said. They told me that a higher power had brought me to the meeting. They gave me their telephone numbers and asked me to call, anytime. They took me to a nearby restaurant where we had tea and biscuits. They sat with me for nearly an hour. I had a deep desire to have a drink that day but their conversation eased my fears. Later that night, I realized that the urge to drink was gone. That day, I met my sponsor.
However it took me another two months of humiliation and pain to get into recovery. This is a meeting which I vividly remember for all the love and protection the fellowship gave me. The warm welcome which I felt when a fellow alcoholic put an arm on my shoulder and said, “You have come to the right place” is still felt by me today. I do not know how I started staying sober. It just happened.
Since that faithful first meeting the obsession to drink again was lifted away.
Rufus. H.
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